October, Don't Take Away The Time

Oh October!  No other month pulls at my heart or breaks it as much as October.  Every year it rolls around and I can't help but be emotional.  I'm overwhelmed with joy, sadness, excitement, and utter gratefulness in anticipation of Brielle's birthday.  I study her and take her in more this month than any other.  I can't believe how she's grown, how did we get here!  Do you ever stop saying that?  I know it's exciting to watch your kids grow and every year is my new favorite year with her!  I celebrate that 11 months out of the year but in October I mourn my baby growing up.  I don't plan on feeling this way I just do. 

(and here they come, full on....the tears....I made it through a paragraph, that's pretty good....now I can't see)

My heart is saddened by the thoughts of her growing up and leaving for kindergarten.   How am I supposed to go about my day without her by my side every minute someday.   This October has been real hard.....she's not a baby or a toddler anymore.....she's a little girl now! 

 (those little toes, hands and cheeks still resemble the ones she had when she was brand new....

I'm holding on to that and love those parts of her!)  

 I feel like I'm holding on to a rope of "time" and I'm trying with all my might to pull back more but October 25th always wins....I'm trying to hold on to every second of that last bit of age 2 but slowly and surely the rope disappears out of my hands.  A new one is placed there until next year when I battle to keep time still once again.  She fills my heart like no other.  I miss her when we put her to bed at night and just want to go get her out.  I can't wait to see her in the mornings and feel so blessed everyday that I get start a new day as Brielle's mommy.  That sweet little high pitched voice makes my heart dance!   I tell her all the time "that's the sweetest little voice I've ever heard".  Why can't we just keep them little. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again but I believe that these are the sweetest years of my life! Happy 3rd Birthday Brielle!  Mommy and Daddy love you so very very much!  You have filled our lives with so much joy.  You've shown us how to trust, how to forgive, how to open our hearts to others.  Through your eyes the world is a beautiful place.  I pray that you will love our God with all your heart.  That you have trust and peace in him always.  That you are kind and compassionate to others.  That you are a blessing to others.  That you go to college.  That you eat well and stay healthy.  That you manage your money.  That you are always grateful and humbled by what you have and aren't always searching for more but can have contentment in the moment.  You bring so much joy to your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and especially to us!  You are the best thing that's every happened to us!  For as long as we live I don't think we will ever be able to express to you or show you how much we love you and just how much you mean to us!
                                                                       Love, Mommy and Daddy

I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand
Felt so good in it, no bigger than a minute
How it amazes me, you're changing with every blink
Faster than a flower blooms they grow up all too soon

I've never felt so much in one little tender touch
I live for those kisses, prayers and your wishes
Now that you're teaching me things only a child can see
Every night while we're on our knees all I ask is please

Let them be little 'cause they're only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
 just let them be little